Yesterday was my grandparents 45th anniversary and my grandma was like “if I had killed him 20 years ago I would be out of jail by now” and that basically sums them up
Your grandma is 45?!
yeah she got married the day she was born
literally nothing feels better than being loved by someone who hates everyone
hey … so,.. uhh… (looks at notecards) did you uh did …you fall out of heaven because um (drops cards) shit fuck oh god fuck im so sorry youre-youre just s o.pretty i m soryr
people that play the victim when theyve been absolutely horrible to others make me sooo mad
what a fucked up society we live in that we shame people both for having and for not having sex